I THANK GOD FOR WHAT I AM GOING TO BE

When a person first becomes a born again believer in Jesus Christ, he is so very grateful to God for offering His Son to pay the penalty for his sins. People often describe the surrender to the Lord as being "like a huge weight being removed from off of their shoulders." That is exactly how I felt on January 31, 1971! To say my life changed would be the ultimate in understatement.

The joy and the peace that filled me was not expressible, although I tried as I told everyone I knew. Some were thrilled, and shared in my exuberance. Others thought I had lost my mind, which in a way, I had; I no longer thought the way I had before. My mind truly was a new creation! Then there were the skeptics who though it was just another fad that would soon wear off. It hasn't! And finally, there were those who could care less as long as I didn't "try to cram my religion down their throats." I discovered early that "cramming" meant everything from wearing witness-wear, or carrying my Bible, or especially if I spoke to them about their views on Jesus Christ. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, I am all about "cramming!"

It didn't take long before I realized that being born again did not change me into being like Christ. My thoughts were still filthy, my speech was often vulgar, and my attitude seemed to be fluctuating between being in and out of "Christ consciousness." I learned, from some faithful believers, I was no different from them; they, too, struggled with their "old sin nature." They taught me that I, like the Apostle Paul, still needed to "walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh" (Rom. 7:14 - 8:4). They showed me Philippians 1:6 which says that God is in the process of making us like His Son. They also showed me what has turned out to be my favorite Bible verse: "Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is" (1 Jn. 3:2).

This morning, I was thinking about a comment one of my daughters recently made to me. She said, "Of course we (she and her two sisters) hated you growing up." I cannot tell you how much that hurt me. I know I wasn't a very good father before I was saved, because most alcoholic atheists are not. But after I accepted the Lord, I thought I had been a pretty good dad. Now, looking back, I realize that I don't like the me of my past forty years much either! And although (some may argue) I am a lot more Christlike now than I was forty years ago when I first trusted in Him, still I struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil every day, all day long. And as a result, I still don't much care for me; I still disappoint me!

There is irony in the fact that her comment "hurt me." If I don't like me, why should I be hurt when someone else does not like me? Maybe the answer is found in forgiveness. Perhaps the reason is that I have come to grips with my imperfection; I have forgiven myself, but it hurts to discover others have not. Maybe one of the areas I still need to work on is my pride. After all, isn't it pride to want others to have a different picture of you than you have of yourself? Boy, Oh boy, I cannot wait until I am like my Savior! Come Lord Jesus!

We want to see ourselves like Jesus sees us.
We just don't want others to see us like Jesus sees us.